I once spoke to a film director who told me that while it was on his shoulders that heavy hung the responsibility of getting a film right in front of the lens, it was also only half the battle. Once a film had been made, even fully-edited, then the work of the distributor and the marketing people began. That way lies flights of success or a vague plummeting feeling in the stomach.
A few weeks ago I wrote about the woefully misjudged campaign for John Carter - a film with a title so short and unimaginative that it would mean absolutely nothing to 99% of the audience and which simply didn't play the enormous trump-card it had with the pedigree of its source material. If you've loved that material since being a child, it's easy to forget that most of your audience has not only NOT heard of John Carter, Warlord of Mars, they've probably not even heard of Edgar Rice Burroughs. Director Andrew Stanton, who hugs that material close to his chest, but didn't feel the need to trumpet that element told me "You may find it hard to believe, but there ARE people out there who don't like sci-fi..." Yes, but the truth is there's also a generation of people who possibly haven't heard of Tarzan either... so trusting the public to take a chance on material they've never heard of is pretty much the same as launching ANY movie without any campaign at all. The film, despite getting very good reviews, is currently a massive loss for Disney. It's box-office wasn't bad, but nowhere near enough to justify its massive production budget. Perhaps it's not plummeting, but it's not far from free-fall either.
The latest marketing concerns and shortening of title comes from a film that won't be in cinemas for well over a year: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, those heroes in a half-shell that have delighted several generations of kids and kids-at-heart with the tales of the mutated turtles named after famous painters, trained in the ways of eastern martial arts by a rat... for the uninitiated think a PETA meets SyFy production - but y'know, good. But let's rewind a bit... because the film won't actually be called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or even TMNT. No, it's going to be called Ninja Turtles. Why? In Michael Bay's own words:
"Paramount marketing changed the name. They made the title simple."
Simple? It takes a special kind of marketing executive to turn around and say "This four word title is too long... I think we'll confuse the audience..." Perhaps the same one that likes the phrase 'Brangelina' because saying Brad and Angelina cost too many micro-seconds. See... I've wasted one myself. But seriously... Teenage Mutent Ninja Turtles is a title made up of four words that sum up the franchise's heart like the most densely-packed pitch meeting. Not a single noun wasted. So, what is the argument against the exiled words?
TEENAGE is the by-word for success in Hollywood - sure you don't want to put off the 20 and above crowd, but I draw your attention to the description of the concept above. Turtles. Martial-arts. Rats. It should be silly all-age fun, not a philisophical middle-age angst outing. Somewhere below the Jules et Jim demographic, yet still far, far above any Rob Schneider comedies.
MUTANT. Ye Gods, the X-Men made this description the hottest word in the superhero lexicon. Marvel has so many it had to decimate them. But apparently, in this new version, the turtles have a more extra-terrestrial origin, with Bay saying in the last week:
"When you see this movie, kids are going to believe, one day, that these turtles actually do exist when we are done with this movie. These turtles are from an alien race and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and compeltely lovable..."
So... not mutants. Aliens. Probably not the Ridley Scott variety. In the days since - with fans offering a collecitve 'WTF? about the alien TMNT - director Jonathan Liebesman has perhaps purposefully muddied the waters, suggesting the origin will still be sewer-based, but with some alien goo (instead of the good-old-fashioned radioactive waste of old) giving the turtles more intelligence and dojo-mojo. Which, if we're being persnikety, still sounds like they've mutated.
NINJA. Okay, ninjas are cool. Even cooler than bow-ties. We don't have to tell Impact readers that. They've made the effort to make black hoodies cool in the same way that Geraldo Rivera has tried to do the opposite. For a secret society of trained assassins, designed to get in and out without anyone noticing, they're the most popular and well-known elite group out there. And, for those with longer memories... whoooops, a group that were disavowed by the BBFC on release of the original Turtles a couple of decades ago. Yes, for the Britishers, 'Ninja' was a no-no word... and the film and cartoon were to be known as Teenage. Mutant. HERO Turtles. Does that mean that Ninja will also be confined to the dustbin for a UK release... or are we now wise enough to know that we probably shouldn't buy Little Jimmy a nun-chuck set for his tenth birthday?
TURTLES. Well, it seems we're intact. Michael and Paramount are sticking with our half-shell friends (because, you know Kung-fu Crocodiles and Wu-Shu Wombats... well, that would just be silly!). Once again, I should remind the older readers that there was a huge furrowing of foreheads when, during the original mania, turtles became the pet-du-jour and then abanonded when Little Jimmy decided Optimus Prime, not a turtle, was for life and not just for Christmas. Certainly we didn't want the turtles flushed down the toilet, who knows what alien goo they'd end up encountering in the sewers.
But Bay, quite rightly - if somewhat naively - is asking for film and turtle fans not to judge the film before it's even finished...
"The characters you all remember are exactly the same, and yes they still act like teenagers. Everything you remember, why you liked the characters, is in the movie. This script was developed by two very smart writers, with one of the original creators of Ninja Turtles (sic). They care VERY MUCH about making the film for the fans. Everyone on this team cares about the fans. Just give them a chance. Jonathan the director, is a major fan of the whole franchise. HE'S NOT GOING TO LET YOU DOWN..." Bay continues on his website.
Liebesman - whose previous credits include The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, Battle: Los Angeles and the current Wrath of the Titans - has also told fans not to worry, that despite what Bay has said, major story elements are still being discussed and elements finnessed and the film would still be about '...brotherhood and friendship and responsibility'. The Ninja and Turtle markets are catered for, the Mutants will have other superhero flicks to placate them. But perhaps given Bay's perchance for upskirt shots, heaving cleavages and wanton anarchy in another franchise created from characters aimed at the kids/adolescent market with Transformers, we should wait to see what aspect of Teenage market this franchise reboot will appeal to.
Putting the actual filming and finished result aside until we can judge it fairly, once the film is made, the marketing will begin. If done right, that will tell us why we should see the movie and advertise it fairly and accurately and effectively. If done wrong - and the retitling doesn't exactly fill us with supreme confidence - then it will be a) merely be loud and colourful. So was Transformers: Dark of the Moon or b) slip through the net like John Carter.
It's unlikely that the turtles will go gently into the dark sewer, so you SHOULD expect a major campaign - of some sort - leading up to the Christmas Day 2013 release. In the meantime... perhaps we should simply be glad that the Turtle names are still named after way-old famous painter dudes. If someone thought a four-word title was too taxing, you can BET that some executive questioned that aspect as well.
Cowabunga, indeed.
