Just when you thought it was safe to go outside again, Dean Devlin readies another global apocalypse…with ‘Geostorm‘…
Dear Dean Devlin…
Our client (henceforth ‘Planet Earth’) has asked us to arrange a meeting to see if we can work out the problems between you in an amicable manner. Our client informs us of a long running campaign of harassment which has included earthquakes, tornadoes, tidal waves, ground-movements, continent-sinkings and even aliens which has so far resulted in approximately $63 billion worth of property damage and loss of life.
It has come to our attention that you will continue to wage your vendetta against our client this October by hiring Gerard Butler to weaponise the weather to cause yet more suffering and harm against our client. We understand this terrorist activity is being named Geo-Storm – because, we assume the monikers ‘Take that, Motherearther!‘ and ‘ Final Continental Apocalypsageddon‘ were taken. This is unacceptable. Our client formally requests that you, instead, make a nice little romantic-comedy in which one of the Bronte sisters tries to solve matters of the heart and is not, repeat absolutely not, swallowed by an avalanche, kidnapped by extra-terrestrials or frozen to death by a second ice age.
We’re sure it’ll all be very pretty on screen, but our client respectfully requests you find an… alternative revenue stream, perhaps in a nice quiet library.
Many thanks,
Hugs.
Quake, Tremble & Topple (ELE Lawyers)
cc Danny Cannon, Jerry Bruckheimer
